This month my in laws surprised us with a trip to Vegas for our anniversary. I have complained about taking a romantic trip with my husband for so many years that they finally got tired of it and sent us away. Actually they are just extremely generous and kind people but I did feel guilty for all my whining which was really more just joking for me. It was our first time ever leaving our kids and taking a trip like this since we started having kids almost 13 years ago. I did take a brief trip out to ND this summer when Rye was working there to ride home with him and we did take our time. Anyway it was amazing in every way and I walked around Vegas with my mouth hanging open for 3 days. The sheer size and beauty of these hotels/casinos impressed me beyond belief. We don't go to Vegas to gamble, in fact we spent a total of $7 on a slot machine and I did not get it. Where is the skill? Totally dumb. Plus I have way too much ADD to sit in front of a machine all day, let alone even a few minutes. And all these sad people plugged into these machines all day long wasting all their money when there was SO many amazing things to see all around them. So sad. But anyway, we spent very little money because there is so much to see and do that is Free. This was so cool in so many ways. But first lets start at the beginning. Remember in this post about the bull pen and this post about my fear of kissing where I talk about my fears and how Ive gotten victory over most of them? Yeah…..not so much.
I first went flying when I was 17 years old. No one in my family besides my dad had ever been on a jet. I totally did not care and flew by myself down to New Mexico to see my cousin. I was nervous but overall enjoyed the whole process. Then I flew a handful of times in the next several years and slowly started becoming more uncomfortable with it. One time I was flying into Minneapolis and there was some storms we were waiting out so we kept circling the airport until we were low on gas and had to land. It was a very rough and scary landing and I know this because there were many people screaming and gasping on that plane. But I'm sure we probably weren't in danger of crashing, just in danger of getting bounced through the roof. It scared me and must have made a deeper impression on flying than I thought. But I LOVE traveling and I love visiting new places so Ive tried to just view flying as a necessary evil.
By the time we flew to Mexico for our honeymoon, my fear of flying had reached big enough proportions that Ryes honeymoon trip was somewhat marred by the fact that his lovely new bride was trying to eject the plane via the emergency door and he had his hands somewhat full. That was when I first realized that any trips that involved flying were always going to be marred by the fact that I was going to HAVE to get into a plane to get back home. And it hung over my head the whole trip. I wouldn't say I didn't enjoy my trips but it sure put a damper on them whenever I would think about having to get into a plane.
So now we get to our anniversary trip. I haven't flown in almost 11 years at this point. Its a good thing this trip was a surprise because I had very little time to think/stress over the flight and I was SO EXCITED to be traveling with my husband that I just pushed the flying to the back of my mind. But by the time my father in law dropped us off at the airport I was pretty full of butterflies. But I assured myself over and over that I was now a fully mature (stop laughing) woman at this point. Wise, strong, confidant, victorious, (seriously, stop laughing!) and so I could easily handle this. I had went through 4 hard labors by this point for petes sake, this should be a piece of cake.
The first indication that I havent flown much was the security line. Apparently you have to have all your liquids and lotions and such in small ounce size or smaller. And in a ziploc bag. Well there went half of my luggage right into the garbage. Plus they didn't like the look of me, or I was too dumb to believe, so they gave us extra attention that was neither deserved or appreciated. They were testing all the things in my luggage with this little PH strip looking things. Once they decided that I was in fact NOT going to blow anyone up, and I apologized profusely for being a country bumpkin, they let us through. But they were pretty put out with me and I was pretty put out with them because I no longer owned my favorite lotion that was going to make me smell amazing in Vegas. Instead some security guard went home to her husband smelling amazing instead. I hope it added spark to their marriage. Whatever.
So our flight was delayed by about an hour and I was getting more and more nervous. I kept consoling and distracting myself with the exciting news that I could now for the first time use the airplane mode on my phone that I thought I would never get to use and was only for the rich and famous. I felt so cool that I was going to use it that I kept practicing turning it on and off, on and off. But alas, this was even starting to wear off and so when we entered the plane I was already pretty nervous.
The first panicked moment was due to the size of this plane. It was way more cramped and crowded than I remember. There was no first class and the seats were so squished you couldn't even recline them. So immediently my claustrophobia kicked in full force. I am sitting in a middle seat next to a pretty lady in her 40s. Im playing it cool (I thought) and acting like a frequent traveler and this is all a breeze. But inside I am FREAKING out. Theres many things that played into this. In fact the situation was horrible for me. Fist off, it was dark and I'm always worse at night as that adds to the claustrophobia when I can't see, they were de-icing the plane which means theres ice on the wings which can't be good, the weather was belch, the plane was totally full and crowded and hot and very small, and I haven't flown in a very long time. The sweet lady immediently starts talking to me, she was from Canada and was recently divorced and was meeting a friend in Vegas and she just kept going on and on. I was desperately trying to care about her recent singleness and her crazy life but inside I was panicking about how I was never going to survive this plane and we were likely all going to crash and all she cared about was her divorce?! And then when the flight attendant starting going over all the instructions she not only kept talking to me so I couldn't pay attention, NO ONE payed attention!
What!? This attendant is going over potentially life saving instructions and we are all ignoring her!! THis is so wrong! Not only do I want to be VERy prepared in case of an emergency, I want to know that everyone around me is prepared! They need to be able to help me out of the plane when we crash and instead they will all be totally lost and not even know where the exit door is because they just wanted to talk about their big weekend in Vegas instead! Even Rye wasn't paying attention until I punched him in the arm and made him realize this is very serious stuff. He is now informed and will NEVER ignore the stewardess or the pre flight instructions again as long as I am flying with him.
So the lady finally tunes in that something is wrong with me. When I finally admit to her that I am afraid of flying, she goes right into mother hen mode. Which was fine because I needed a mother hen at that point. My amazing flying partner was getting VERY tired of explaining to me why we weren't actually going to crash and he wanted to just nod off instead. So he was happy to deflect me to her. The first thing she did was switch seats with me so I could sit by the window as she thought it would help if I could see. It did help. I was able to watch the whole de icing procedure and would have been happy to point out all the spots they missed if anyone would have cared. And Rye almost convinced her that he should stay in the aisle seat and she should sit by me, but I think she even realized that was beyond her generosity. The second thing she tried to do was drug me up with something. I probably would have taken it in my desperation if Rye wouldn't have remembered that we have learned the very hard way that all the medicines that typically calm people down do the exact opposite with me.
In fact just this year when I had my hernia surgery, I had such a bad response to the drug they gave me in the pre op room to 'relax' me that I actually traumatized the surgeon so much he had a private meeting with Rye and told him "your wife should never ever ever ever have any class of drugs in the (some B word) family. In fact your wife should never be drugged ever if you can help it as I have never seen anyone respond to these drugs this way, ever" (he actually included a letter too with the names of the drugs) I don't actually remember what happened as they gave me the drug that makes you not remember as they knew it would be such a traumatic memory for me if I could remember. But I guess I thought the hospital was falling on us and all sorts of things until at one point Rye was laying on me in the bed to hold me down until they could get the shot in me to put me out. Ive heard it was a screaming wrestling match and that no one has ever seen anyone more terrified and it was somewhat stressful for all involved including my poor husband, my nurse, and all the other patients in the pre op room. I wish they could have given everyone involved, especially my husband, the drug that makes you forget. Im a lot of work. We know this.
A few years ago I had the very unfortunate experience of having to fly via life flight with my oldest daughter to the children's hospital in Spokane. We took a helicopter in the middle of the night in iffy weather. (I had only been in a helicopter one other time but I don't remember it at all since I was the one being life flighted off the side of a mountain). So basically it was my first ride in a helicopter and I was pretty scared. Couple that with the fact that I didn't know if my daughter was going to live and it was a pretty stressful and bumpy trip. I thought I was holding it all together pretty well and being tough when all of the sudden the flight nurse asked if she could give me something to help me. I didn't know I needed help (thankful those around me always do) but I nodded yes. She then reached over and very calmly and cooly stuck a needle in my thigh right through my clothes and injected me with something. I was a little surprised and a lot grateful because whatever she gave me actually really helped. I wish I could find her and ask her but since I KNOW that was an unsanctioned shot anyway, I'm pretty sure I will never find out. (That will be another story for another post.)
Anyway I would have gladly taken whatever drug this kind divorcee was going to give me, but thankfully Ryes memories of my recent drug taking weren't wiped out, so he was able to prevent another catastrophe. And to make this story a little shorter, I survived take off and most of the flight with flying colors. I did start getting pretty numb in my cheeks, and my fingers were starting to turn into claws which thanks to my other experiences with hyperventilating (also another story) I recognized as such. So I worked on my breathing and did NOT in fact have to use the puke bag to breath into. Now we had been warned in an offhand manner when we took off that coming into Las Vegas would be a 'bit bumpy.' I didn't pay too much attention at that point because I was busy thinking about if they de iced the wings on the ground because they were icy from the previous flight, how was it okay that they were now getting icy again from this flight?And why would the engine all of the sudden slow way down and get quiet and then all of the sudden take off again? And why do the lights flicker sometimes, does that mean we are losing power? And why for petes sake is the pilot not checking in with us more? Is he so distracted by the intense power of the snow storm that he does not have time to tell us about the weather and the cruising altitude and such? And why is everyone calmly sleeping and visiting when we are in very real danger of losing our lives? Because people do not survive airplane crashes. We know this. So our odds of survival are very slim. And WHY oh WHY is Rye not taking this more seriously? Does he not realize his wife is in very real danger? And he is doing nothing to protect me besides trying to nod off and ignore me??
SO we prepare for our descent into the desert and I finally can breathe. We will be landing shortly and it will all be over. Little did I know the worst was yet to come….and I do mean the worst.
To be continued…..and don't worry its not all about flying, I will actually write about Vegas as this title suggests.
